Alzheimer’s caregivers face some pretty difficult situations but sometimes there’s a glimmer of humor in the mix.
You have to understand my mom isn’t a violent person nor is her friend. They sit beside each other in the sunroom and both have similar levels of Alzheimer’s disease.
A few months ago, I got a call from the nursing staff saying the two of them had had a disagreement and my mom slapped the other lady.
Now there are two things you have to know here. The first is that people do change under the influence of Alzheimer’s and some do indeed become violent. The second is that whether this is caused by the disease or not, slapping somebody else is a criminal offense and mom could be charged. (Theoretically this could see her put in a psychiatric facility and medicated heavily)
The nurse told me the other family would not be pressing charges and I took a deep breath of relief. Apparently, there was no mark and 2 minutes after the slap, they both had forgotten it and were chatting again.
A month after that, I got yet another call about a slap. Again, my stomach dropped somewhere to my knees.
But this time, the friend had done the slapping. Mom was on the receiving end with no mark and two minutes later chatting and forgetting.
I confess I giggled (partially with relief) and told the nurse that “What goes around, comes around.” We both had a little chuckle about it all (in a most professional way of course)
in our mutual humanity and understanding that these things do happen but are not part of the common behavior for either one.
But what do you do if you’re a caregiver at home? Where’s the line? While we can’t tolerate abuse towards our loved ones – how much do we take from our loved ones?
Tough questions indeed and not as easily answered as the other family and I were able to make.