Archive for the ‘support’ Category

It’s the Little Things You Don’t Expect

Dec 13th, 11 / 0 Comments

It’s the little things that get you when you’re not looking. Mom is in a nursing home and the staff are salt-of-the-earth treating her really well. Absolutely no complaints there. But mom is beyond recognizing us and only with some determined sleuthing can we get a response to a picture or stimulus where we know we’ve touched the remnants of a memory.

She can’t talk coherently, and in her anxiety she throws up and voids herself. Medication controls the bulk of this for her but still, there are moments and there’s a fine line the physicians walk between controlling anxiety and turning her into a zombie. They’re concerned people and continually adjust meds as mom’s body changes and degrades so she’s both in control and as aware as she can be but not panic stricken in her memory chasm.

She has a rotten tooth. It broke off and the nerve is exposed. She doesn’t travel. And because it’s a back molar, it’s a dental surgeon’s task to get it out; this is a hospital procedure. At this point, I confess neither the nursing staff nor I really knew how to get this all done. Enter the regular dental technician.

Saving lives and sanity. This wonderful lady helps folks like my mom on a regular basis in the nursing home. She’s seen mom several times and this time identified the issue and said she could take care of getting a referral into the surgeon and sorting out the travel arrangements.

I suspect mom will be heavily medicated with surgeon approved meds, we’ll load her into a wheelchair and use a para-bus or ambulance to move her to the hospital. Reverse the procedure for the return trip.

I have to confess my anxiety is terrific on this one but I also have to say my kids have been terrific. Mayo and I are slated to travel soon and my kids have said, “Don’t worry, we’ll take a day off work to take care of Grandma.”

I have to say it’s taking the entire village and the family to handle this problem, but I’m a very fortunate man to have both helping me through this small crisis. And more importantly, they’re doing it for mom with love.

support

Early Alzheimers Treatment

Dec 5th, 11 / 0 Comments







We already know how important it is to see a physician and get an early diagnosis – and start taking appropriate meds to slow down the onset of Alzheimer’s. But there’s another side to the problem we rarely investigate and one I wish I had thought of or known about 8 years ago when my mom first started down this road.

It’s simply confidence.

The first reaction is one of denial – “I don’t forget things!” but inside you know you do. After a “certain age” we all worry about forgetting stuff and wandering down the road to this diagnosis. Confidence and fear go hand in hand.

The second reaction is one of losing confidence to go out – to engage with others because, well, because you’re going to make a fool of yourself forgetting something and “people will know”. My mom was an amazing faker and I’ve seen her have a long conversation with an old friend and them immediately turn to me asking, “Who was that?” Social skills kept her moving long after somebody with less skills would have been needing superised care. Even the social workers working with her were fooled many times until they got to the actual testing/memory scores and realized the issues (one of the rookies never did figure it out and we had more problems with that – but that’s another story).

The point today is that support groups and basic programes such as this one in the UK are really important for this initial stage of building confidence and helping individuals to remain engaged with their friends and family.

It’s far too late for my mom but if you have a loved one that’s just been diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease – do contact your local Alzheimer’s society and have them find a local program like this for you and your loved one.

support, treatment

It’s tough to be an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

Nov 22nd, 11 / 0 Comments







Alzheimer’s caregivers face some pretty difficult situations but sometimes there’s a glimmer of humor in the mix.

You have to understand my mom isn’t a violent person nor is her friend. They sit beside each other in the sunroom and both have similar levels of Alzheimer’s disease.

A few months ago, I got a call from the nursing staff saying the two of them had had a disagreement and my mom slapped the other lady.

Now there are two things you have to know here. The first is that people do change under the influence of Alzheimer’s and some do indeed become violent. The second is that whether this is caused by the disease or not, slapping somebody else is a criminal offense and mom could be charged. (Theoretically this could see her put in a psychiatric facility and medicated heavily)

The nurse told me the other family would not be pressing charges and I took a deep breath of relief. Apparently, there was no mark and 2 minutes after the slap, they both had forgotten it and were chatting again.

A month after that, I got yet another call about a slap. Again, my stomach dropped somewhere to my knees.

But this time, the friend had done the slapping. Mom was on the receiving end with no mark and two minutes later chatting and forgetting.

I confess I giggled (partially with relief) and told the nurse that “What goes around, comes around.” We both had a little chuckle about it all (in a most professional way of course) :-) in our mutual humanity and understanding that these things do happen but are not part of the common behavior for either one.

But what do you do if you’re a caregiver at home? Where’s the line? While we can’t tolerate abuse towards our loved ones – how much do we take from our loved ones?

Tough questions indeed and not as easily answered as the other family and I were able to make.

lifestyle, support

Tough Decisions with Alzheimers

Oct 15th, 10 / 10 Comments

Some days there isn’t enough coffee in the pot to make the morning right. And this is one of them.

Mom is in her nursing home now and well in the grips of the symptoms of later stage Alzheimers. And it’s time for tough decisions.

She watched her mother go through this and made me promise I’d never let her go through it – it was her worst nightmare. But she’s there.

The staff (who are being amazingly wonderful I note) are balancing on a thin rope here. Mom’s anxiety about not knowing where she is, or who she is or what’s happening leads to some physical behaviors – emesis, voiding etc – that are beyond her control. Scopolomine reduces the anxiety but leads to lowering her blood pressure so she passes out.

Reducing the medication leads to more aberrant behavior – the very ones that she made me promise to avoid – reducing her sense of human dignity to shreds.

There is no dose that provides both. It’s turning into a one or other decision over the last 6 months as her health declines further as the symptoms increase and the brain is shutting down.

Saying goodbye to a loved one – one week at a time – is tough for both of us. She responds to hugs now – but doesn’t know who’s giving them. All too brief sparks where her eyes light up as I show her – over and over on my laptop – the family pictures. Yesterday was the first day she didn’t want to be helped to the sunroom but wanted to stay in her bed while we talked.

So – for right or wrong – last night I told the nursing folks that it was more important to have human dignity for her than to live without it. To increase the medication to reduce her anxiety – to allow her whatever dignity she could salvage. Reducing the medication to prolong a life without dignity – without hope of a cure wasn’t what she wanted.

Increase the medication and allow her the dignity and lack of anxiety it could promise.

And yet, on this dull, rainy day, there is a hole in my soul.

support

Alzheimers Association

May 10th, 10 / 1 Comment

If you’re looking for the Alzheimer’s Association, then here are some useful links.

The US Alzheimer’s Assoc. You’ll be able to find state organizations from this point.

The Canadian Organization

Alzheimer’s Resources in the United Kingdom

Each of these Associations provides a range of services (mostly information) that is quite useful and accurate as far as they know.
There are also individual Alzheimers Associations in individual states and provinces although the strength and usefullness of these would
appear to vary between jurisdictions.

support

Alzheimers Support Issues

May 10th, 10 / 0 Comments







In a poll in Toronto on Alzheimer’s support issues, just over 500 caregivers were asked about the level of aggression of their family members suffering from Alzheimer’s.The majority of those caregivers had observed agitation while approximately one-third had
seen aggression towards themselves.

These caregivers also reported a very high incidence of mood swings and disorientation and almost 23 percent said they had been scared or threatened by their patient’s behavior.The interesting part of the report suggested that those in caregiver roles were somewhat comfortable talking to others (outside the immediate family) about disorientation and mood swings but drew the line when it came to aggressive behavior – not wanting to talk about these with non-family members.

It is also reported that caregivers reported extra fatigue, difficulties with sleeping, head aches, and weight gain.

Bottom line:

It’s pretty tough to talk about one of your loved ones when their behavior is clearly aggressive or anti-social.

And this is the time caregivers really need support.It’s a tough role to be in for sure but understand that others are dealing with similar issues and are just as reticent to discuss it as you are.

research, support